PRS: Instant 24% returns?!?! Hoot 9 ee!

It’s that time of the year again! As 2020 draws to a close, Malaysians are rushing to maximize their income tax returns. 2020 has not been a great year, with COVID-19 and the subsequent economic challenges. It’s often said that the only two constants in life are death and taxes. I couldn’t think of a […]

Gloves: Rekt? Time to jump off a tall building?

If you’ve never stared certain ruin in the face and laughed, can you say you’ve truly lived? 🤔 The tight, nervous feeling in the pit of your stomach when going all in with your life savings is indescribable. Betting everything on a roll of a dice, knowing that failing means catastrophe, is almost like an […]

KLSE: SALCON – Cannot up. No use lah.

Uncle and aunty investors in Malaysia are a bunch of hardened, no nonsense motherfuckers. They don’t do fancy-schmancy keh kiang (pretend to be clever) stuff like fundamental analysis or technical analysis. Candles and moving averages are foreign to them. A stock is either Good (hoot 9 ee!) or Bad (sell ah, don’t catch falling knife). […]

Hailat lo! Vaccine Out. Gloves Pok Kai.

Pfizer, makers of the iconic blue pill that has rallied men of a certain age to engorged tumescence, has announced their COVID-19 vaccine is 90% effective. My buddy Trump kena “chor” by the STEM community – not exactly his most vocal supporters at the best of times. Positive news about vaccines filtered out almost immediately […]

Walau eh! Buy Bitcoin BOJIO!

Bitcoin is like that song Lao Bengs love and belt out enthusiastically at karaoke joints nationwide, 爱拼才会赢. 有时起 有时落. Sometimes up, sometimes down. It has surpassed USD15,000 for the first time since 2017. The value of Bitcoin exploded by 30% in the past month alone! Those are not gains you dismissively flick a booger at […]

Windfall Tax On Glove Stocks Explained

Cham lo! There is a lot of buzz about the possibility of windfall tax being levied on glove manufacturers. Why does this concern you as an investor? Additional taxes mean reduced profits. An open and business-friendly political climate is essential for industry to thrive. If Supermax, Top Glove, Hartalega and Kossan kena windfall tax, it’ll […]

Hailat lo! Week of Doom! How ah?

Slap an extra-absorbent diaper under your panties coz we’re in for a wild ride! One market-shaking event after another is slated to occur this week, resulting in unprecedented market volatility. Boys will hide under their momma’s skirt and grown men will shed tears. The KLCI has dropped to a historic 5-month low. The Chinese has […]

Mythbusters: Sell On News?

Hartalega and Supermax announced their quarterly results today, posting record net high profits of RM544.96 million and RM789.52 million respectively. “SELL ON NEWS!” scream investors from the less savory forums. “Aiya you first time play stocks meh? Buy on rumor, sell on news! Everybody also know la!”. Let us look at this objectively, armed with […]

Darurat (Emergency): GG Lor! Buy, Sell, Or Hold?

The game is afoot! Unless you were hiding under your mother’s skirt for the past week, you’ll have heard rumblings about certain political maneuverings culminating with an Emergency (Darurat) declaration. Our beloved PM has met with YDPA to present his intentions. YDPA is meeting the Malay Rulers to decide on the next course of action. […]

Gloves: Tutup lampu! Extend! EXTEND!!

Glove stocks has taken a heavy beating since yesterday. Some say the party is over. The captain has turned on the bright, florescent ceiling lights and is presenting you with the eye-watering bill for the night. “Boss, your credit card rejected”, he demurs politely, making sure to leave the door slightly ajar so his biggest […]

How To Avoid Investing ADHD

One of the hardest lessons in investing is to keep focused and stay the course. At least for me. I am still working on it. Limpeh got a bit of ADHD one. He no study high, only learn how to high. I wouldn’t have chosen the tough life of a Premium Ah Beng otherwise. Splashing […]

KLSE: MAHSING: Tonight KTV On Limpeh!

Did any of you ride the Mah Sing Group Berhad bullet train to Hosay-land on Friday? If you did, congrats! Limpeh also profited from this stock. I watched it shoot up while taking my morning dump. It surged 20% in the 15 minutes it took for me to do a bowel movement! Very kick leh. […]